why? I am sending you! patience.

Judges 5-8

¹³ “Sir,” Gideon replied, “if the Lord is with us, why has all this happened to us? And where are all the miracles our ancestors told us about? Didn’t they say, ‘The Lord brought us up out of Egypt’? But now the Lord has abandoned us and handed us over to the Midianites.” ¹⁴ Then the Lord turned to him and said, “Go with the strength you have, and rescue Israel from the Midianites. I am sending you!” –Judges 6:13-14

Gideon’s honest heart here is so beautiful, so bare before God. He wants to know why. Why is this happening? Why does it feel like you’re not in control? Why does it seem like the enemy has power in the land you promised us? Why did you let it get to the point where I would have to thresh wheat in a wine press, where I would have to live in fear and doubt?

If we’re honest, don’t we wrestle with this same question? God, if you’re really there, why did my family turn out like this? Why wasn’t I loved and cared for as I should have been? Why did you let it scar me so deeply? Why do these habits still haunt me? God, if you’re really there, why are there people – your children, who are starving right now, dying and desperate for food when here I am living with more than enough? God, if you’re really with me then why do I keep struggling, why do I keep messing up, why do I keep feeling this way and thinking these things? God, if you’re really there then why don’t my friends see it? Why doesn’t my family get it? Why have my prayers remained unanswered? Why does my generation remain broken and fatherless, addicted and perverted, lost and alone?

And God doesn’t spend 93857397 hours responding with a long logical answer… no. He turns to Gideon and says “I am sending you”. WHAT? Me? Huh? Yeah! His heart is as broken as ours is. He sees it surround us, he feels the hurt even more deeply then we could imagine. He has sent us. He sent Gideon into a battle against the enemy, to lead his people from captivity. He sent Gideon to the depths of his own fear and bitterness and confusion. I wish I could express what I’m thinking right now… this is just so cool. It’s like God was saying, hey I’m upset too, I didn’t want it to be like this either – so that’s why youre here. I will be with you. we can beat this. He wants to take your hand and walk through the pains of your past with you. He wants to take your hand and go to the brokenhearted, the widow, the orphan, the child prostitute, the girl three lockers down from yours, the guy who you see at work. . .

²³ “It is all right,” the Lord replied. “Do not be afraid. You will not die.” ²⁴ And Gideon built an altar to the Lord there and named it Yahweh-Shalom (which means “the Lord is peace”). –Judges 6:23-24

And another thing that blows my mind is that after this intense encounter with God which would leave anyone’s head spinning, Gideon builds an altar and calls it, “the LORD is peace”. It’s like he’s trying to remind himself that although he is so afraid and confused, he can find peace in God and the fullness of his presence. How beautiful! Wouldn’t it be great if we responded like that? If we made some sort of reminder for ourselves of who God is amidst our struggles? So beautiful.

Throughout the rest of the chapter, God’s patience with Gideon is obvious. Gideon asks for a sign again and again and again. He is doubtful. He is fearful. He has believed for so long that this God had abandoned him and his people, and now here he was about to trust him. But God wasn’t mad. God gave him the signs he asked for. God showed up. He was patient with Gideon in his doubt and fear. Even later, just before battle, God says to Gideon “But if you are afraid to attack, go down to the camp with your servant Purah. ¹¹ Listen to what the Midianites are saying, and you will be greatly encouraged. Then you will be eager to attack.” (ch 7). Then when Gideon hears the dream, he IS greatly encouraged. God knew Gideon would be afraid, he knew Gideon would doubt, and instead of rebuking him and pointing some cosmic finger at him, he tenderly told him how to conquer his fears. He knew just what Gideon needed to hear. God is patient and oh so good. It reminds me of Hebrews 4:15 - "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin."