Mighty.

1 Samuel 5-8
“But when the citizens of Ashdod went to see it the next morning, Dagon had fallen with his face to the ground in front of the Ark of the Lord!” – 1 Samuel :3a
“Who is able to stand in the presence of the Lord, this holy God?” they cried out. – 1 Samuel 6
Why do I so often forget how powerful this God is – this God who I claim to serve and know and love deeply? This God who through Jesus I actually have the honor to stand in his presence and not be defeated, but uplifted? How can I not trust him when every knee will bow to him? I get so confused, so caught up in all my questions and doubts and mistakes and worries and stress. I am so worried about being wrong about who God is and not really knowing him that I end up viewing him as so much smaller than he is – because I forget he is bigger than my silly human reasoning. He is bigger than my thoughts and ways. It sounds so simple, and maybe it is. I get so caught up in feeling guilty for my ridiculous mistakes that I forget God is bigger than all of them could ever be. I forget that He believes in me, that He offers me a new life, that He promises his work with me will continue until my final breath. And sometimes I feel so guilty and stupid and sinful and ashamed and confused, that I forget that Jesus has truly enabled me to come into his presence. Even though I don’t deserve it and never will. Even though the moment may hold grief and guilt and confusion. Even though I come with nothing to offer of my own, even though I have turned my back. Jesus invites me in to the presence of the holy, perfect, living God. I am welcomed here. I am loved here. I am accepted for all that I am. Why is this so hard to believe?
Then Samuel said to all the people of Israel, “If you are really serious about wanting to return to the Lord, get rid of your foreign gods and your images of Ashtoreth. Determine to obey only the Lord; then he will rescue you from the Philistines” -1 Samuel 7:3
Yet here is the good news. God will still take me back, just as he did the Israelites. Time and time again, they turned their back. They looked to God and promised their love, but then turned their eyes to anyone but him. Yet he took them back. His offer did not change. His love was and is bigger than any mistake we could ever make. We must return our eyes and actions to God alone. We must choose to obey only him – to keep our marriage vows we proclaimed so long ago. He is still faithful.

he was grieved by their misery

Judges 9-12

⁶ Again the Israelites did evil in the Lord’s sight. They served the images of Baal and Ashtoreth, and the gods of Aram, Sidon, Moab, Ammon, and Philistia. They abandoned the Lord and no longer served him at all. ⁷ So the Lord burned with anger against Israel, and he turned them over to the Philistines and the Ammonites, ⁸ who began to oppress them that year. For eighteen years they oppressed all the Israelites east of the Jordan River in the land of the Amorites (that is, in Gilead). ⁹ The Ammonites also crossed to the west side of the Jordan and attacked Judah, Benjamin, and Ephraim.

The Israelites were in great distress. ¹⁰ Finally, they cried out to the Lord for help, saying, “We have sinned against you because we have abandoned you as our God and have served the images of Baal.”

¹¹ The Lord replied, “Did I not rescue you from the Egyptians, the Amorites, the Ammonites, the Philistines, ¹² the Sidonians, the Amalekites, and the Maonites? When they oppressed you, you cried out to me for help, and I rescued you. ¹³ Yet you have abandoned me and served other gods. So I will not rescue you anymore. ¹⁴ Go and cry out to the gods you have chosen! Let them rescue you in your hour of distress!”

¹⁵ But the Israelites pleaded with the Lord and said, “We have sinned. Punish us as you see fit, only rescue us today from our enemies.” ¹⁶ Then the Israelites put aside their foreign gods and served the Lord. And he was grieved by their misery. - Judges 10:6-16

This is our story. It is so familiar. We run from the God who loves us and cares for us deeply, the God who has delivered us and rescued us time and time again. We turn to lovers that won't satisfy, to waters that will never fill us.

Yet what strikes me about this passage in particular is how it says "he was grieved by their misery". Another version says " he could bear Israel's misery no longer". God's heart is broken for us so deeply when we turn away. It's not about guilt. His love for us is so deep, and when we run to other loves it just doesn't compare, and he knows it. He can't take our misery any longer, so he does something about it, he rescues Israel time and time again. He takes us back even though we've been a whore, giving ourselves to everyone but him. Not only does he take us back but he fights for us, he sends his son to die for us, to show us a perfect picture of how true his love really is. He is faithful, never abandoning us.

"Grace means there is nothing we can do to make God love us more - no amount of spiritual calisthenics and renunciations, no amount of knowledge gained from seminaries and divinity schools, no amount of crusading on behalf of righteous causes.
And grace means there is nothing we can do to make God loves us less – no amount of racism or pride or pornography or adultery or even murder."
-Philip Yancey, What's so Amazing About Grace

"God loves us because of who He is, not because of who we are" -Philip Yancey, What's so Amazing About Grace

why? I am sending you! patience.

Judges 5-8

¹³ “Sir,” Gideon replied, “if the Lord is with us, why has all this happened to us? And where are all the miracles our ancestors told us about? Didn’t they say, ‘The Lord brought us up out of Egypt’? But now the Lord has abandoned us and handed us over to the Midianites.” ¹⁴ Then the Lord turned to him and said, “Go with the strength you have, and rescue Israel from the Midianites. I am sending you!” –Judges 6:13-14

Gideon’s honest heart here is so beautiful, so bare before God. He wants to know why. Why is this happening? Why does it feel like you’re not in control? Why does it seem like the enemy has power in the land you promised us? Why did you let it get to the point where I would have to thresh wheat in a wine press, where I would have to live in fear and doubt?

If we’re honest, don’t we wrestle with this same question? God, if you’re really there, why did my family turn out like this? Why wasn’t I loved and cared for as I should have been? Why did you let it scar me so deeply? Why do these habits still haunt me? God, if you’re really there, why are there people – your children, who are starving right now, dying and desperate for food when here I am living with more than enough? God, if you’re really with me then why do I keep struggling, why do I keep messing up, why do I keep feeling this way and thinking these things? God, if you’re really there then why don’t my friends see it? Why doesn’t my family get it? Why have my prayers remained unanswered? Why does my generation remain broken and fatherless, addicted and perverted, lost and alone?

And God doesn’t spend 93857397 hours responding with a long logical answer… no. He turns to Gideon and says “I am sending you”. WHAT? Me? Huh? Yeah! His heart is as broken as ours is. He sees it surround us, he feels the hurt even more deeply then we could imagine. He has sent us. He sent Gideon into a battle against the enemy, to lead his people from captivity. He sent Gideon to the depths of his own fear and bitterness and confusion. I wish I could express what I’m thinking right now… this is just so cool. It’s like God was saying, hey I’m upset too, I didn’t want it to be like this either – so that’s why youre here. I will be with you. we can beat this. He wants to take your hand and walk through the pains of your past with you. He wants to take your hand and go to the brokenhearted, the widow, the orphan, the child prostitute, the girl three lockers down from yours, the guy who you see at work. . .

²³ “It is all right,” the Lord replied. “Do not be afraid. You will not die.” ²⁴ And Gideon built an altar to the Lord there and named it Yahweh-Shalom (which means “the Lord is peace”). –Judges 6:23-24

And another thing that blows my mind is that after this intense encounter with God which would leave anyone’s head spinning, Gideon builds an altar and calls it, “the LORD is peace”. It’s like he’s trying to remind himself that although he is so afraid and confused, he can find peace in God and the fullness of his presence. How beautiful! Wouldn’t it be great if we responded like that? If we made some sort of reminder for ourselves of who God is amidst our struggles? So beautiful.

Throughout the rest of the chapter, God’s patience with Gideon is obvious. Gideon asks for a sign again and again and again. He is doubtful. He is fearful. He has believed for so long that this God had abandoned him and his people, and now here he was about to trust him. But God wasn’t mad. God gave him the signs he asked for. God showed up. He was patient with Gideon in his doubt and fear. Even later, just before battle, God says to Gideon “But if you are afraid to attack, go down to the camp with your servant Purah. ¹¹ Listen to what the Midianites are saying, and you will be greatly encouraged. Then you will be eager to attack.” (ch 7). Then when Gideon hears the dream, he IS greatly encouraged. God knew Gideon would be afraid, he knew Gideon would doubt, and instead of rebuking him and pointing some cosmic finger at him, he tenderly told him how to conquer his fears. He knew just what Gideon needed to hear. God is patient and oh so good. It reminds me of Hebrews 4:15 - "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin."

thorns, weakness, & beauty

Judges 1-4

"For your part, you were not to make any covenants with the people living in this land; instead, you were to destroy their altars. But you disobeyed my command. Why did you do this? So now I declare that I will no longer drive out the people living in your land. They will be thorns in your sides, and their gods will be a constant temptation to you". - Judges 2:2-3

For Israel, getting rid of the enemy was a process. Living in the promised land meant a daily battle against those living there and the gods they worshiped. So often they got tired. So often they wanted to stop fighting. So often they wanted to believe God's work with them was done.

They had the chance to completely say no to the enemy, but they had let them stay in the promised land, and now the enemy was a thorn in their side, constantly bringing temptation. Do you know what it would be like to literally have a thorn in your side? With every single step, it would bring pain, making it harder and harder to press on toward the goal. Being in your side, a thorn would sometimes even be hidden from your immediate view – but the pain would be there. Perhaps sometimes you would even grow numb to the pain because of its consistency, but nevertheless, the harmful effect it causes would still persist. It would be easy to hide this thorn from others – in fact it would be completely out of one’s comfort zone to reveal it to anyone. This would involve lifting up the garment which covers your side from view. This would involve revealing the pain and burden and torment and weakness and day-to-day breath-by-breath struggle. .. This would mean being completely vulnerable.

So why did God let this happen?

"He did this to teach warfare to generations of Israelites who had no experience in battle.” - Judges 3:2

He did this to teach us to fight. He let this happen so we could be painfully aware of our need for God and our own depravity. He let this happen so we could learn to fight the enemy of God with every wince of pain induced by the thorn he placed in our sides.

I’m not sure where you’re at as you’re reading this, but I have an idea of where I have been. I have let the enemy in before, I have felt the pain of a thorn pressed deeply in my side. I have believed it would be easier to stop running toward God, to just stop and breathe in deep and forget where I was even going. I have grown numb to the pain of my thorn – to the grace that I need each and every day, to the God who accepts me with open arms and loves me because of who he is not because of who I am. . . I have tried with all that I am to hide the thorns I’ve carried from the ones walking with me. I have tried to bear the burden on my own, to pretend I possessed perfection. I’m not sure what your thorn is, but I do know that there is such beauty in this mess – God uses our weakness for his good. Our thorn can be used to remind us of our constant need for God, and to test us - to see if we are willing to press on toward him even when it is unbearably painful.

"But when the people of Israel cried out to the Lord for help, the Lord again raised up a rescuer to save them. His name was Ehud son of Gera, a left-handed man of the tribe of Benjamin." - Judges 3:15

My study bible had this note about the story of Ehud:

“This unusual story demonstrates how God can use us just the way he made us. Being left-handed in Ehud’s day was considered an exceptional ability. Many Benjaminites were left-handed, making them highly specialized troops, able to use a sling or bow with tactic designed to repel right=handed warriors. Eglon’s bodyguard never checked Israel’s messengers for left-handed weapons. God used Ehud’s overlooked ability to give Israel victory. Let God use you the way you are to accomplish his work”

It was what could have been seen as a weakness or embarrassment that God used to let Ehud defeat the enemy.

"While the servants were waiting, Ehud escaped, passing the stone idols on his way . . . " -judges 3:26

To me, this sentence reminds us of Ehud’s character – in the midst of a culture turning away from God and turning to worship stone idols, Ehud passed right on by the idols without a second glance, both on the way to and from his defeat of the king. What if we could do that? What if we had the character that we could pass by the temptations of this culture without a second glance or thought?

“Very well,” she replied, “I will go with you. . . “ – Judges 4:9

Not only was Deborah (a woman) willing to prophesy to Barak, but she was willing to go with him to complete his mission. It is one thing to be willing to tell someone what to do or how to improve, but to go with them on that journey is so much more. How often do we do this? How often are we willing, not only to let someone know what they need to change, but actually help them to change it? How often are we willing to lay aside our desires and comfort to go with someone into the depths of the battle against the enemy? What a beautiful character Deborah possesses.